John McCain Searches for Lost Integrity
Republican presidential contender John McCain is criss-crossing the country searching for his missing integrity. It is believed that McCain misplaced his integrity during his unsuccessful 2000 bid for the GOP presidential nomination. He is retracing his steps of that abortive campaign hoping to reignite his support from independent voters.
Stopping at a Red Roof Inn outside Toledo, Ohio, McCain searched the room he had briefly occupied prior to the Ohio primary. “I know I had it here,” Mc Cain told his aides. “I remember talking at a Town Hall meeting in favor of campaign finance reform and against tax cuts for the wealthy. It has to be here somewhere.”
He sought to speak with the members of the cleaning crew, but it turned out that the maid staff had been deported years before. “They might still be here if only we had some sort of guest worker program…” McCain began, his backbone stiffening. “Hey, I might be onto something…” he continued, only to be nudged in the ribs by his running mate, Governor Sarah Palin. “No, wait, we should round up all the illegals and send them back. It’s the American Way.”
The search was not entirely, fruitless, however, when McCain found a rumpled dollar bill under the dresser. “That’ll buy me a gallon of gasoline,” the out-of-touch candidate said.
(Editor’s note: Purple Nation supported McCain in the 2000 presidential primary. Although he leans too far to the right on many major issues, it was our belief that he would do the right thing for the American people. It saddens us to see that he has become a shell of the man he once was. His campaign is a disgrace and he has disgraced America. –Purple Nation.)
Tags: John McCain
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