Palin Promises to Fill America’s Potholes
Duluth, WI–Republican Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin has vowed to demonstrate her vast executive experience with a promise to fill America’s potholes. “I’m tired of people questioning my qualifications. Let me show you the kind of leadership that Alaskan residents have come to know,” Palin said.
The Department of Transportation estimates that U.S. roads are riddled with more than 350 million potholes, or one for every man, woman and child in America. The logistics of filling every one will be a complex logistical task of monumental proportions, but Palin is up to the challenge.
“The American people want change!” the candidate exclaimed during a campaign stop in Duluth, Wisconsin. “Together, we can ease the rides of all Americans.”
When told of his running mate’s plans, Senator John McCain said, “That’s the kind of fresh idea the American people are going to get from the McCain-Palin ticket.”
Asked how she would pay for this initiative, Palin sneered, “All we need to do is eliminate pork barrel projects from the federal budget.” When a reporter pointed out that because of its harsh winters, Alaska stood to gain the greatest portion of federal road-building dollars, Palin reacted with fierce venom. “That’s exactly what I’d expect from the liberal media.” Later, a Palin aide made a call to the publisher of Duluth Register asking to have the reporter fired.
In a related story, Kellogg, Brown and Root has announced the formation of an asphalt and paving division.
Tags: Palin
You can comment below, or link to this permanent URL from your own site.