John McCain Wins Senior Open
Kennebunkport, ME – Proving that at age 71 he has the stamina to serve as President, Senator John McCain yesterday beat former President George H.W. Bush on the golf course by six strokes. “Take that, old man,” McCain exclaimed as he sank a putt for par on the final hole.
The 83-year-old former President was obviously perturbed by the Senator’s attitude. “Not gonna take that from you, young fella.”
President George W. Bush, who has sworn off golf out of respect for the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, spent the day sitting in a sand trap, contentedly fashioning an Arabian palace out of sand.
“Come in for lunch,” Barbara Bush called from the clubhouse of the Bush family’s private course.
“I don’t want to,” the President whined.
“Georgie, be a man,” Bush 41 firmly retorted.
With a huff, the President stamped out his own creation, saying, “I’ll show you how to rock the Casbah!”
Meanwhile, Democratic presidential nominee Barack Obama completed a fact-finding through the Middle East, meeting with U.S. military officials and political leaders from Iraq and Israel.
Senator McCain was not impressed with his opponent’s international photo opportunity. In a news conference with reporters from the Kennebunkport Post and the New Gloucester Independent, the candidate said, “Fact finding mission? I’m a Republican; I don’t need facts to know I’m right.”
