Temp Receives Presidential Medal of Freedom
Kyle Frumpp, a contract worker who has been filling in as an administrative assistant at the State Department, today received the Presidential Medal of Freedom.
Frumpp was an unexpected choice for this honor since it was he who was responsible for illegally breaching the passport files of presidential contenders John McCain, Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. Frumpp’s motives for reviewing the private files are unknown but political purposes are expected. Passport files indicate that Senator Obama has never made a pilgrimage to Mecca, but that Senator McCain once overstayed his visit to Vietnam by five years.
Attorney General Michael Mukasey suggested conducting a criminal probe but he was overruled by the President. “I admire his pluck,” the President said.
Frumpp has been employed by the Nine-to-Five Temporary Agency for the past nine months. His prior work experience includes being a male escort and a stint as a server at Applebee’s.
President Bush presented the award in a Rose Garden ceremony, saying, “Heckuva job, Frumppie.”
